Platonov vs. Baudelaire vs. Poe vs. Evans – what have we learned?

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Our Twitter Competition to find the King of the Hunks among those smouldering figures of the page and screen, Andrei Platonov, Charles Baudelaire, Edgar Allen Poe and Shaun Evans, has concluded in a draw; as (some might say) we knew all along, each has their own strengths and weaknesses.

PLATONOV is seen as a rugged hard man. Comfortably winning the ‘wilderness survival skills’ and ‘brawling’ sections of our competition, people trust him to pay his share for milk as a housemate. He certainly comes across as an author it would be worth finding out more about – and if you’re interested, by a stroke of luck we have a discussion of his work on the 31st January, with Robert Chandler.

The depths of pity for POE are clearly very real and deeply touching. You rate him melancholiest, by a long way, both in eyes and overall face. Beyond that – or because of that? – he’s both hapless and loveable, quickly dropping in the pub brawl, cooking a disastrous paella, sacrificing himself for the sake of the team on an expedition to the Pole. His bathroom habits are clearly suspicious, and everyone is united – more than on any other question – that he has had by far the least sleep of the four.

BAUDELAIRE is trickier to place – a jack of all trades. People fancied him in the pub brawl, thought he was likely to sacrifice himself in the polar expedition, and viewed him as the next most melancholy to Poe; but he also had a romantic side. His paella is professionally-made and second to none.

Not as romantic, though, as SHAUN EVANS. Nobody thinks he’d last long in the wilderness, but there’s consensus that he’d make the best housemate, and quickest off the mark with a romantic surprise on an anniversary you thought he’d forgotten.